Emotional infidelity....

This article was written by Rosemary Black from the New York Daily News. Its a great quick read that goes into how individuals frequently struggle in their relationships when they fail to communicate about their emotional interactions and attachment bonds to others.

ENJOY!!!

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/10/13/2010-10-13_courteney_coxs_emotional_affair_with_costar_is_as_harmful_to_marriage_as_sexual_.html

The "emotional affair" playing out between Courteney Cox and her "Cougar Town" co-star Brian Van Holt, as described by estranged husband David Arquette, could be as harmful to the couple's marriage as an extra-marital sexual relationship, experts say.

Even in the absence of physical intimacy, the constant emotional and psychological involvement with another person can siphon off feelings of commitment, contentment and closeness that two partners previously shared.

"As emotional intimacy develops, you're no longer connected to your partner," says Lauren Mackler, relationship expert and author of "Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Tranform Your life." "Your focus and energy on your partner are dissipated and redirected to someone else. Emotional affairs cause many relationships to die."

An emotional affair can start innocuously enough, explains New York City couples therapist Irina Firstein, as an intense friendship that over time intensifies. "Before you know it, you are confiding in someone else other than your spouse," she says. "It's a betrayal."

Very often, a person in an emotional affair does not realize how strong the attachment is, says Dr. James Wadley, a marriage, family and sexuality therapist. "The relationship grows stronger by spending more and more time with the person and learning more and more about him," he says.


Cox and 'Cougar Town' co-star Brian Van Holt have a close relationship. (photo: Busacca/Getty)

So when does a close friendship turn into an emotional affair?

If you're constantly thinking of, texting and emailing with someone other than your significant other, that's a red flag, Mackler says. Even more of a warning sign is not including your spouse or partner in the friendship with this new person. "When you don't tell your husband when you have lunch with the person, that's a signal something is not right," Mackler says.

Not all close friendships are marriage wreckers, and many happily married couples have activities and hobbies of their own, experts say.

"They may belong to a bike club or a tennis club, and if it stays within that activity, it's not harmful," says Dr. Edward Schechtman, a psychologist in private practice in Suffolk County. "But the boundaries blur when you start talking about personal issues outside of the activity. That's when you start running into trouble."

So is it possible to extricate yourself from an emotional affair and get a marriage back on track?

"The way out of it is honesty, openness and accountability," Wadley says. "You need to hold yourself accountable, recognize how you are feeling, and be able to articulate this to your partner."