Sexual Renaissance
360 The Magazine (Winter, 2009)
by Dr. James Wadley

As we move toward the end of another year rife with sexual scandal, sexual misfortune, and relational confusion as portrayed by the media, it seems imperative that someone steps forward and ask “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” Infidelity, sexual challenges and manipulation, and an erosion of the capacity to be genuinely honest with one another have seemingly become lost as people try to literally outsmart each other (and themselves) to gain temporary and nominal advantages over another. What I'm suggesting is that there needs to be some sort of paradigmatic shift from debilitative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that existed in this and former years to a more refined sense of self AND the skills to reveal that sense of self to others. With that in mind, I briefly present to you three precepts for people who are ready to adapt and change themselves in the new sexual renaissance that emerges in 2010:

1. The ability to be honest with oneself and others.
Imagine this: You are with your partner or loved one and you ask him or her for their opinion and they present to you their unadulterated, honest to God, truth. Though you are disappointed in their sentiments, you THANK them because you know that they have given you needed feedback and insight that you may not have had. PHEW!!! Can you handle the truth? Are you ready for the truth? Are you ready to be honest? If you answered “Yes,” to these questions, RENAISSANCE!!!
2. The ability to expand your sexual choices (e.g., healthy and consensual) beyond social expectations or “boxes”.
Imagine this: You exist in a world that YOUR sexuality and YOUR choices are not predetermined/predestined by what your family, your partner, or what society dictates for you. You claim responsibility for YOUR actions and YOUR choices and because those attributes belong to you, you are able to experience freedom to do what you want. RENAISSANCE!!!
3. The attitude transformation to be accepting and possibly celebrant of those who are unlike you.
Imagine this: You meet, mingle, and spend time with people who have different sexual orientations, different lifestyles, and different ideas about sexuality, the world, and relationships. Because of this relational transformation with others, you give yourself a chance to learn, grow, and possibly change (e.g., attitudes, feelings, and behaviors) for the better....RENAISSANCE!!!

In the new year, give yourself the “gift” of YOU and allow yourself a chance to embrace and experience the sexual renaissance. Doing so may enhance your ability to have a better relationship with yourself and with others. RENAISSANCE!!!

Dr. James Wadley is a marriage, family, and sexuality therapist. He is also an assistant professor at West Chester University which is located outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. His recently published book, “Would you marry you?” (Authorhouse) is an introspective examination of one's lifetime commitment to oneself.